


That Time Darcy Proved She Couldn't Be Trusted With A Taser

by jordsy91



Category: Superman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship, Sarcasm, Slow Burn, SuperShock, SuperTaser, Tasers, Tumblr: fuckyeahdarcylewis, the reveal, what do I call this ship?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jordsy91/pseuds/jordsy91
Summary: Pretty much what it says on the tin. Darcy always wondered why Tony didn't let her have the arc-reactor powered prototype taser. This is exactly why.*A series of 1000ish word drabbles and snippets of Darcy and Clark, their friendship and relationship.*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Devidlg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devidlg/gifts).



> For devidlg on her birthday. Happy Birthday Dev!

When Darcy arrived at the Daily Planet she was relieved when she found out that she would be working with Clark Kent on her guest article. 

Clark was a friendly guy, and they had worked on a few things together. He always made her feel welcome, and was genuinely friendly.

Darcy was pretty sure she could bounce a coin off that ass if she tried, despite the way he tried to hide it under those baggy suits.

Since finishing her Poli-Sci doctorate, she had been working closely with the Avengers in the wake of the Sokovia accords and the subsequent reforms. 

It was through this line of work that she had been contacted by the Daily Planet a few times to advise on articles. They had ended up liking her so much that she had been given the space to semi-regularly write guest articles. Perry White, the Planet's answer to Nick Fury, was a straight shooter that appreciated her quick wit, and she had found that she got along with just about everybody there. Darcy liked to think that in another life, this would have been the perfect workplace for her. Still, at the moment she had the best of both worlds.

She found Clark easily, which was out of the usual. He was normally present at the Planet as much as he was absent. They caught up over coffee, before making a start on the story together.

 

.-.-.

 

They had been working all day and most of the night when they finally called it quits.

"It's late. Come on, I'll walk you back to your hotel." Ckark offered, as Darcy took her glasses off to rub at her tired eyes for the third time in five minutes. 

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Darcy agreed, looking at the scattered papers in front of her. She shuffled them into some semblance of order, before shoving them into the bottom drawer of the desk, locking it with the key. 

"Whereabouts are you staying?" Clark asked, pulling his suit jacket on over his still immaculate button down shirt. 

Most men would have loosened the collar and rolled the sleeves up by now for some semblance of comfort. Clark hadn't even loosened his tie. If he wasn't so easygoing (with a tendency towards the same blend of wry sarcasm Steve favoured), it would be easy to assume he was stuffy and particular. On Clark though, it just seemed natural. 

She did mourn though, for the missed opportunity to see a hot guy with his sleeves rolled up. That was one of her weaknesses.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and looked away from Clark, lest he catch her staring and think she was a weirdo. She slipped her hoodie on over her head.

"I'm staying at the Four Seasons." She finally replied. "I'm not quite sure how to get there though. I usually catch a cab here." She admitted, slinging her handbag across her chest. 

"Don't worry, I know the way." Clark assured. "It's about a ten minute walk."

"Ok, let me just prime my taser." Darcy dug around in her bag, finding it easily and dialing it up to 'human'. She didn't think 'mutant', 'inhuman' or 'super' were necessary tonight, but she made sure she didn't lock the dial, just in case. You never know.

"Is that Stark tech?" Clark asked, eyeing the red and gold casing.

"Yeah. Ostentatious, I know. But he does know how to make a weapon." 

"Let's hope you won't need it." He said as they walked to the elevator together. 

 

A few minutes into their walk back to the hotel, Darcy was feeling jumpy. No one had done anything outright, but Metropolis has a creepy night time vibe. She would've thought that with it being Superman's primary city that the crime rates would be at an all time low, but it turned out that the criminals had only gotten sneakier and quieter. Hence why she was jumping at every scurry of a rat, and every quiet echo of a footstep.

"I thought you lived in New York?" Clark asked with a laugh when she jumped yet again at a noise down a side street.

"I do." Darcy nodded. "But I can't explain it. New York is the evil that I know. The criminals are loud and obnoxious. Not to mention Nat has every street camera hacked. They look out for me. Apparently Superman told them he'd watch out for me, but y'know, the dude can't be everywhere. " 

Clark nodded. "I promise you're safe with me." He assured. "I know this place like the back of my hand. Trust me, this is the safest part of town."

She nodded, and tried to relax. She still held a tight grip on the taser in her hoodie pocket though. 

She kept her chill for a good few minutes, until a car decided to backfire. Unfortunately Darcy's basic defense training had given her trigger happy fingers coupled with poor risk assessment.

Unfortunately for Clark, it meant getting tased.   He convulsed in a way she'd never quite seen before, and she looked at the dial worriedly.

"Fuck!" She hissed, seeing the dial sitting on 'super'. "Fuck!" She reached out to check his pulse, simultaneously checking his breathing. She breathed a sigh of relief that he seemed to be fine. His eyes fluttered open, looking much less disoriented than she'd expected.

"You okay?" She asked. 

He nodded. "I'm fine."

"How the fuck are you fine?!" She all but screeched, shoving the taser in his face. "This was set to _super_. This knocked Steve Rogers on his ass!"

Clark sighed, dusting himself off and standing easily. "Okay," he said,  looking displeased for the first time since she had met him. "I can explain. But not here." He held his hand out for the taser, and she reluctantly gave it up. It wasn't much use now anyway, she would have to charge it up again

For some reason, Tony didn't trust her with an arc-reactor powered taser.

Actually, come to think of it, what was happening right now might be  _exactly_ the reason. Damn it.

They continued to the hotel in awkward silence, the first she had experienced with Clark. Her mind ran with the possibilities. Was he a mutant, or an inhuman?

She studied his face carefully unset the street lights, trying to see if she recognised him from any of the files in the register Tony kept. Suddenly, it clicked.

"No fucking way." Darcy said lowly. "You're him."

Clark looked confused. "Him who?"

She pointed to the sky.

"What, God?" Clark said, looking at her like she was insane.

"Don't be ridiculous." She dismissed. "Do you really want me to say it out here?" She gestured to the empty street. 

"Can it wait until we're inside at least?" Clark asked as they finally arrived at the hotel.

"Sure." She agreed. "I'm not gonna lie though Clark. Of all the ways I imagined getting you back to my hotel room, this wasn't one of them."

He blushed, as she'd assumed he would, and she gave him an innocent grin.

"What? I'm a red blooded female. I'm not blind.  Well, with these glasses, I'm less blind." She quipped, sticking her hotel keycard into the reader in the elevator, which would automatically take them to her floor.

"You're Superman." Darcy said without preamble, the second he shut the door to her hotel room behind him. 

He looked taken aback. "How do you figure that?" He asked, laughing. 

"Come on, man. I live with a group of superheroes. It all makes sense now. You always face the exits wherever we go, you're constantly scoping the room, and you look just like him. Honestly, I can't believe I didn't see it earlier."

"Am I really that obvious?" He asked, taking his glasses off to pinch at the bridge of his nose stressfully.

"Surprisingly, no. I'm just incredibly observant. I am sorry for tasing you though."

"No harm done. Truthfully, it was mostly an act. I barely felt it."

"Does Tony know his tasers don't work on Superman?" Darcy asked, plopping down on her bed to kick her shoes off. She hated high heels with a passion, even if those heels were Jimmy Choos.

Clark sat across from her, on the chair at the tiny hotel desk. "As far as I know he doesn't, and I'd appreciate if you didn't tell him. Kryptonite is the only thing that would make it effective, and it's basically the equivalent of radiation poisoning for me."

"Oh dude, totally. Your secret is safe with me. Like I said, I live with a bunch of superheroes. Secrets is what I do."

"Thank you. If you could not tell anyone my identity, too? Nobody else knows. Well, you and my Ma."

"Of course." Darcy said, miming zipping her lips. "It might not be a bad thing that I know, y'know. Sometimes the guys need a confidante after a bad job. I could be that for you. I promise I'm an excellent listener, and I bet I don't shock as easy as Ma Kent." She said with a wink.

"You know what? That sounds really good." Clark said with a smile. 

This was it. The moment she could make her move. She'd been wanting to ask Clark out for months, but had never had the opportunity. She opened her mouth to speak, and his head cocked to the side, listening to something far away. 

"I'm sorry, I have to go." He said.

"No problem. Go, do your thing!" She said, gesturing to the balcony. In the blink on an eye, he was gone, though he'd left a pile of folded clothes on the seat; his discarded work clothes.

Oh well. Another time. She couldn't wait to see Lois's face in the morning though when she returned Clark's clothes to him. She snorted a laugh at the thought, sliding her pants off and slipping under the covers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark returns for a midnight chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, whoops. My fingers slipped and I've started another multi chapter wip. Uh oh.

Darcy didn't get a chance to give Clark back his clothes the next morning. He returned not too much later than he had left, landing quietly on her hotel balcony and knocking softly on the door. Half asleep, she stumbled to the door to unlock it.

She drew the curtains back, seeing him as Superman for the first time. He stood with his back to the city, his shockingly blue eyes sparkling with the hint of a smile when he saw her. She slid the door open with a returned smile. 

"Come on in." Darcy said, stepping aside so he could enter.

 As she moved out of the way, she felt the curtains brush against her bare leg, and remembered with a small degree of mortification that she was standing there in only a hoodie and underwear. She had taken her pants off to sleep. All things considered, though, it could have been worse. She was wearing nice panties at least. She tugged the hoody lower, but it failed miserably at covering much more than the curve of her ass.

Clark took his time shutting the heavy curtains after shutting the door behind him, and pointedly did not look down at her bare legs when he turned back around.

"I know, I'm sorry. I forgot to pack my pjs. I swear I'm not trying to seduce you." She said, moving back to the side of the bed to pick her pants up. She slid them on one leg at a time before buttoning them. "There. All covered up." She said.

Clark barked a laugh. "I'm not worried." He said. "Though I am sorry I burst in on you. I thought you might still be awake."

Darcy moved to sit on the bed again, and Clark sat in the desk chair like before, moving the pile of his clothes to the desk.

"It's fine. What's up?" She asked, trying not to focus on the suit and the cape and the spitcurl . He was all Superman in this outfit, but when she looked past it all, he still looked like the same old Clark, down to the worried face he was currently sporting. "What should I call you when you're Superman?" She asked on an impulse.

"You know, most people would think I was Superman all the time. It's strange that someone other than my Ma knows that I'm not." He said, smoothing his hair down in a classic Clark Kent way. "When it's just the two of us, you can always call me Clark."

"Cool. Cool cool cool." She struggled for something to say that wasn't inappropriate.  "I feel like I'm collecting superheroes, you know. But don't worry, you're my favourite." She winked. 

He laughed. "Thanks, I think?"

 _Well, Lewis. You fucked that one up. Awkward._ She shook her head minutely, standing up and walking to the kitchenette for something to do. She decided to make some coffee. She had a feeling she was going to need it. 

"Coffee?" She offered, and Clark nodded. 

"Yes, please."

She set about making it, two sugars and milk for her, and one sugar and black for him.

"I just wanted to thank you, for keeping my secret." He said.

"Dude, of course. Secret keeping is what I do. Just call me Ms Fidelius." She quipped, returning with coffees in hand.

"I guess I lucked out then." He said, accepting the hot coffee. He didn't hold it by the handle, but by the body of the mug, and Darcy wondered how he could stand the boiling heat of it before remembering that he was Superman, and felt like the world's biggest idiot. 

"This is going to take some getting used to." She sat down on the bed again, leaning back against the headboard. "I'm really glad I know, though."

"I'm glad too." He admitted, taking a sip of his coffee. "My secrets have secrets. This is a novel experience."

"So how did you come by the whole secret identity thing?" She asked. 

Clark shrugged. "Well I was raised on a farm by my Earth parents. That's who I am. Superman is my secret identity. I didn't even choose the name, Lois did."

"Why the 'S' on the suit then?" She asked, hoping he wasn't feeling interrogated. 

"It's actually the symbol for my House. It's like my family crest. It means 'El'." He explained.

"Oh wow, so it was a lucky coincidence." She mused. "You know, you're lucky you came back. I was gonna give you back your clothes at work. Lois would have had a field day with that."

Clark blushed at the implication, choking on his coffee mid-sip.

"Don't even get me started on Lois. She's been trying to set me up for months." He said. 

"Sounds like Natasha. She's been trying to set Steve up for years. Why haven't you taken her up on her offer?" She asked faux-casually, picking at a loose thread on her hoodie.

"It's too hard to date when you have to keep youself secret. It's exhausting."

"Understandable. That sounds lonely, though." Darcy pointed out. 

"It can be." He nodded. "Feels less lonely now, though."

Her eyes met his and they shared a smile. 

"Good." She said, and she meant it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump. Darcy prepares for Clark's visit to New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've posted two chapters today. **Make sure read Chapter 2 first.**

Over the next few months, Darcy and Clark grew closer and closer. He visited her in New York frequently, and they texted each other even more often than that. 

He had quickly grown accustomed to having someone to talk to, and she had happily listened. They talked about his rescues, both good and bad, and just about any topic under the sun. 

Darcy loved his visits. They had to be careful not to get caught out by the (annoyingly) observant residents of Avengers Tower, which meant a lot of their visits happened away from the tower. By now, Darcy guessed that they had probably visited just about every major tourist attraction the city had to offer. If she squinted, she could almost pretend they were dating. 

Today was going to be one of her favorite visits, though. Clark had booked a flight, and was coming to stay for the week under the guise of work. Perry White, his boss, had assigned them an article on the Avengers. It was a fluff piece, a 'week in the life of Avengers Tower.' Perry, the clever bastard, had twisted her arm into talking her friends into doing the article. Darcy admitted that they did need the good publicity right now, and had convinced them, too. They had agreed once Darcy had vouched for Clark's good character and assured then nothing went to print without unanimous approval.

Could Darcy have written the article alone? Absolutely. But she and Clark had both jumped at the chance to spend a week together. 

Her small (huge) crush on Clark was not a defining factor in any of this. Except that it totally was.

She had decided that asking Clark on a date immediately after finding out he was Superman was probably tacky and definitely suspicious timing. So she settled for his friendship, promising herself she'd make a move when the timing was right. 

So far, she had counted eight opportunities, telling herself every time that it might be better to wait a little longer. 

Okay, so she was a wuss.

It wasn't her self esteem. She knew she was 5'6" of awesome. It was more a fear of upsetting the status quo. In a matter of six months, Clark had become her favorite person, and her best friend. She was finding herself increasingly reluctant to risk that. 

"You're thinking about him again."

Natasha's voice cut across her internal monologue, bringing her back to the present. She stood behind the island counter Darcy sat at, preparing her breakfast. 

"Thinking about who?" Darcy was playing dumb, and Natasha knew it. Darcy knew that she knew. Natasha knew - well, there was a lot of knowing going on. 

"Don't play dumb, Milaya. It's not a good look on you. We both know you're seeing that reporter." She said with a knowing look.

"Well apparently you don't know everything. We're not seeing each other. We're friends."

Nat raised an eyebrow,  as if to call her on her bullshit.

"You've been going on dates for six months." She said, staring her down as she buttered the toast on her plate.

"You know, that's freaky how you don't even have to look at that and can still do it perfectly." Darcy gestured to the toast.

"Practise." Nat said. "Don't change the subject."

"Yeah, okay." Darcy conceded. "I wanna climb him like a tree. I mean, look at him! I'm not blind. But he's my best friend. I'm not gonna risk that for a roll in the hay."

"You and I both know that's not what this is." Nat said, taking a bite of her toast.

"Maybe not. But I'm still not risking it." Darcy said firmly.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Sestra. Ask him on a date. He'll say yes."

Darcy was saved from having to reply when Bucky entered the kitchen. Both women knew he was terrible with secrets. Honestly, he and Steve gossiped like old women. 

"Good morning!" He greeted, circling the counter to kiss Nat on the cheek and steal a slice of her toast.

"You must have a death wish, Barnes." Nat said.

"Oh, please." He scoffed. "We both know you make the second piece for me."

Darcy took the opportunity to slip away, but not before Nat caught her eyes and gave her a meaningful look.

Well, it was settled. With the subtlety (or lack thereof) of her friends, and Clark's super senses, she was going to have to keep as much distance between him and them as was practically possible. And they were doing an article together, on said friends. 

Fantastic.


	4. Chapter 4

When Darcy left the kitchen, she decided to make her way down to the garage. Clark's flight arrived at 11am, and it was nine now. By the time she drove to the airport, she wouldn't have to wait long for him. The added bonus was she could also avoid Nat, and hopefully avoid all of the other Avengers. If she was lucky, they might all forget that today was the day Clark arrived.1

Sure, it would be easier if he flew in from Metropolis sans plane, but they were keeping up appearances. She just hoped that his _services_ wouldn't be needed while he was mid-flight. That would be a whole other problem that she wouldn't know how to solve. Still, she looked forward to his visit. 

Clark was taking a commercial flight, despite the inconveniences, because aside from the need gor keeping up appearances, he liked to pretend he was 'just Clark' as much as he could. She understood why. Superman was cool and all, but he wasn't real. Not like Clark was. He was an idea, a disguise that let Clark do the good he was made to do. Superman was to Clark as the Iron Man suit was to Tony. A tool that let him be the hero he already was. The Superman suit let Clark be the hero, the saviour. It let him use his natural born gifts without being exposed. 

Of course, Tony hadn't hidden behind his suit for long. But that was different. Tony was a natural social butterfly. An attention whore, if you will. Clark couldn't be further from that, even if he did spend half of his time flying around like a red blue and gold billboard. And he quite liked his life as it was.

That wasn't to say that Clark was any better than Tony. Just different.

Darcy stepped out of the elevator, entering the garage. She glanced around at the cars for a moment, trying to decide which of Tony's cars she was going to steal. Her eyes landed on a white SUV with tinted windows. No, too boring. She contemplated the motorcycle for half a second, before shaking her head at the absurdity of it. 

Bingo.

There, at the back of the garage, under a car cover, she spotted a glint of candy red paint.

Tony's convertible. 

Could she?

She strode to the car, lifting the cover carefully. She ran a hand over the buttery leather of the seats.

Yep, she totally could. Just this once.

She found the keys hanging on a nearby hook and decided that anyone who left their car keys just lying around like that deserved to have their car borrowed for a joyride. She felt positively giddy as she slid into the drivers' seat, running a reverent hand across the dashboard.

"This must be how Dean Winchester feels about his car." She marvelled, turning the key in the ignition. She adjusted her seat and mirrors before pulling out of the parking spot, the car rumbling happily as she excited the parking garage.

She was halfway to the airport when someone clambered into the front passenger seat. 

"JESUS FUCK!" She swerved, almost into the other lane when a hand reached out to right the steering wheel and pull her back into her lane.

"What the _fuck_ , Clint!" She punched his leg with a shaky hand. "Are you trying to get us both killed?"

Clint looked less than remorseful, his eyes sparkling with laughter he could barely hold back.

"You know, for someone who lives in the most targeted building in the city, you're not very observant." He stretched his legs out onto the dashboard, folding his hands behind his head.

"What are you even doing here?" She was just barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes skyward. "Oh my God. You're totally crashing my thing with Clark! How did you even know I'd pick this car?" 

"Well, Darce, some of us _are_ observant. We all knew you'd go for the Lamborghini. You think Tony just leaves the keys laying around?"

"Dammit." Her friends were dicks.

"Be thankful it was me. Tony and Nat were fighting for the honour. Everyone's real interested to meet this guy." 

"You're all gonna meet him today!" She pointed out.

"Just looking out for your best interests, Darce. You never know who the bad guys could be."

She let out a laugh that bordered on hysterical. 

"Oh jeez." She wiped a tear from her eye, swallowing back a wheeze. "That's the funniest damn thing I've heard all year. I promise you, Clark Kent is as far from a bad guy as you could possibly get."

"I don't understand why that's so funny, but okay. If your guy is so good, he won't have a problem with me being here." Clint said, a steely glint in his eye.

"Of course he won't have a problem. He's the nicest guy you'll ever meet. Don't fuck with him, Clinton. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I know Clark. He's important to me." They finally arrived at the airport, and started circling the parking lot for a spot.

Clint smirked, holding his hands up in surrender. "Fine, he might not be Hydra. But he still gets the shovel talk."

Darcy groaned. "It's not like that. At least, not for him. For the love of Odin, leave it be." She warned, sliding into a car spot close to the entry. "And you're waiting in the car." 

It was Clint's turn to laugh again. "No way, sweetheart. He's getting the full big brother experience."

It was nearly 11am, and Darcy needed a drink.

"Fine. Embarrass me, and I'll wax your balls while you sleep."

"Come on, Darce. You gotta know better threats that that." 

She decided the best way forward was to ignore him. It lasted all of a minute.


End file.
